Funny Christmas Wishes, Messages, Sayings, Greetings, & Quotes

Funny Christmas Wishes, Messages, Sayings, Greetings, & Quotes: Bring a smile on someone’s face using funny Christmas wishes.

There are times you want to write a funny Christmas message on a Christmas card but can’t find the perfect wording.

Send your love, friends, colleague, family these funny Christmas Wishes. Find a collection of Funny Christmas Messages, Wishes, Sayings, and Greetings on the internet.

Funny Christmas Wishes

I have prepared the list of wishes for this Christmas and I am sending it to you because you are my Santa and you have the power to make them all come true… I will wait for my presents anxiously… For you, I am sending my blessings and wishes…. Have a Merry Christmas.

May the festival of Christmas bring beautiful and cheerful memories for you and your dearest family… I wish that you are showered with all the gifts you had dreamt of so that you can have a merrier Christmas… All the best and wish you a warm and Happy Christmas.

Santa has denied sending you a present this Xmas because he is planning to wrap you up as a present to me… I thank him for this wonderful gift at this amazing festival and I promise him to take care of you with love… Wish you Merry Christmas my darling.

May this Christmas you are showered with gifts of your choice and Santa takes special care of you. Merry Christmas to you.

This Christmas is all about feeling special. I hope you spend this Christmas drinking to the point that you completely forget you’re a loser!

Funny Christmas Wishes

On this festive occasion, I wish that your life is blessed with joy and smiles, good humor, and loads of laughter to give you a bad stomach ache… Wishing you a very Merry Christmas blessed with all the happiness in the world… May God bless you… Keep laughing!!!

Wishing all my family and friends a Christmas full of great laughs that give us tears and stomach aches. Have a rocking Christmas

Christmas is the season of magic and mystery. All your savings for the year will have vanished and you won’t even know it. How awesome!

A very Merry Christmas to you mom and dad. You are truly the most blessed parents and you must thank Jesus for the same on this special occasion.

I don’t know if you realize it or not, but you are getting fatter than Santa Clause. Even Santa would bully you for being so fat! Merry Christmas!

Warm wishes on Christmas to everyone. Let us celebrate this occasion by gifting someone a good and cheerful laugh.

Don’t forget your list to Santa this Christmas – you’ll get more out of him than you’ll get from your boss or the government! Have a good one.

I hope Santa fills our socks with cash instead of gifts and toys. I know you hope for the same. Wish you a happy Christmas!

Read: Christmas Wishes for Family

Funny Christmas Messages

Warm wishes on Christmas to my co-workers. The only thing you should be thinking about now is celebrating Christmas with high spirits.

You are allowed to have an awesome Christmas as long as I have my presents waiting at my doorstep. Have a great time!

Remember to smile and enjoy your time. Because when Christmas is over, nobody will care whether you exist or not!

Happy Holidays to you! I’m sure Santa knows the difference, but I’ll put in a good word for you, just in case.

 

I tried too hard to make Santa believe that you’ve been good throughout the year. Instead, I got my presents canceled for being a friend of you!

I prayed that Santa would give you wings this Christmas so you can fly and disappear from the earth forever. Just kidding. Merry Christmas!

Christmas is truly full of wonders. It makes all of my savings disappear! That is the Christmas magic, Merry Christmas!

Christmas is mostly for children. But we adults can enjoy it too until the credit card bills arrive!

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Dear Santa, If you promise to be nice and give me everything on my list, I promise to give you the antidote to those poison cookies you just ate. Thank you.

Holidays are exhausting. Ho Ho! Keep calm and enjoy Christmas!

Funny Christmas Greetings

Wishing you a white Christmas this year. If you run out of the white one, remember I have plenty of supply for the red one. Merry Christmas dear friend!

Keep your friends close, your enemies closer, and receipts for all major purchases.

May sure you limit your children’s Christmas gifts because you are the one who will be paying for them so think twice and happy a budget-friendly Christmas.

The reason why everyone makes wishes every Christmas is that no one’s wish ever comes true! Making Christmas wishes is just a custom! Merry Christmas!

Christmas is the only time when eating candy out of socks is cool! Good luck with your smelly socks and expired candies. Merry Christmas!

What I like about Christmas is that you can make people forget the past with the present.

Wishing you hit the jackpot for health, wealth, and happiness this holiday season and throughout the New Year

I wrote to Santa admitting that I have been naughty throughout this year and it’s all because of you. Now, I’m waiting for Santa’s reply. Merry Christmas!

The only present you can gift Jesus during his birthday is good behavior. You can try to be good today then go back to normal after Christmas. Merry Christmas!

With all the snow during Christmas, just make sure you set up a lot of indoor fun activities so that Christmas does not turn out to be boring. Make merry thing Christmas.

I hope you have extra room in your house to fit all the guests during this holiday. In any case, you can bring some of the guests to my house, I have some room to spare. Let’s enjoy Christmas together.

Christmas is the festival of love and spirit. So let us drink the spirit to feel love; Merry Christmas too!

Ensure you pay for security at your doorstep because as much as Santa comes with presents, he comes at night. Be sure to look out of fake Santa.

Funny Christmas Sayings

You are the best gift I got, what more could I ask. Merry Christmas.

It’s the most wine-derful time of the year.

Christmas comes but once a year, but when it comes, it better brings good beer.

I hope you love the present you told me to buy for you.

Christmas is a time for remembering family and trying to guess everyone’s sizes! Have a Wonderful Christmas!

Enjoy your holiday and feel the magic of Christmas this year. Witness how money disappears and how I lose my sanity. Merry Christmas!

May your holidays be as lovely as they look on Instagram.

Hope you have a remember-forever-and-ever-and-ever-and-ever kind of holiday.

All I want for Christmas is to see the link to my wish list.

Hey you two over there, It’s the old, bearded guy and his silly reindeer! We’re here to bring you holiday cheer and wishes for a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

I think Santa should hire giants instead of elves so that he can have a faster production of gifts.

I hope your smiles will just be as big as your credit card bill this Christmas! Wish you good luck and a lot of fun. Happy Christmas!

They say that Christmas is just around the corner. How can it be when the world is round?

Santa has already given me what I wished for so long. Now I want him to fill your socks too! Merry Christmas!

Funny Christmas Quotes

Funny Christmas Quotes and Funny Christmas Sayings: Christmas sometimes can be stressful in terms of preparation and ensuring everything runs smooth. You are up and down doing some shopping for the Christmas. This is the period that everyone is looking forward to the celebrations.

To help you overcome the Christmas holiday season, we are going to look at a collection of funny Christmas quotes, funny Christmas Sayings, and funny Christmas proverbs.

Funny Christmas Quotes

Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year. – Victor Borge

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I once bought my kids a set of batteries for Christmas with a note on it saying, toys not included. – Bernard Manning

My husband’s idea of getting the Christmas spirit is to become Scrooge. – Melanie White

Once again we find ourselves enmeshed in the holiday season, that very special time of year when we join with our loved ones in sharing centuries-old traditions such as trying to find a parking space at the mall.  – Dave Barry

Christmas is a time when everybody wants his past forgotten and his present remembered. What I don’t like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day.  – Phyllis Diller

That’s the true spirit of Christmas: people being helped by people other than me.  – Jerry Seinfeld

funny christmas sayings and phrases

One of the most glorious messes in the world is the mess created in the living room on Christmas Day. Don’t clean it up too quickly. – Andy Rooney

Aren’t we forgetting the true meaning of this day – the birth of Santa? – Matt Groening

The one thing women don’t want to find in their stockings on Christmas morning is their husband. – Joan Rivers

Keep your friends close, your enemies closer, and receipts for all major purchases.  – Bridger Winegar

People are so worried about what they eat between Christmas and New Year, but they really should be worried about what they eat between the New Year and Christmas.   – Anonymous

Christmas is a time when you get homesick, even when you’re home. – Carol Nelson

Funny christmas slogans

Once again, we come to the Holiday Season, a deeply religious time that each of us observes in his own way, by going to the mall of his choice. – Dave Barry

I bought my brother some gift wrap for Christmas. I took it to the gift wrap department and told them to wrap it, but in a different print so he would know when to stop unwrapping. – Steven Wright

A lovely thing about Christmas is that it’s compulsory, like a thunderstorm and we all go through it together. – Garrison Keillor

Funny christmas sayings

Also Find:

Christmas Eve Quotes
Christmas Family Quotes

Funny Christmas Card Messages

Find some Funny Things to Write in a Christmas Card

The worst gift is a fruitcake. There is only one fruitcake in the entire world, and people keep sending it to each other.

I stopped believing in Santa Clause when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store, and he asked for my autograph.

My wife, like many women, actually LIKES wrapping things. If she gives you a gift that requires batteries, she wraps the batteries separately, which to me is very close to being a symptom of mental illness

Never worry about the size of your Christmas tree. In the eyes of children, they are all 30 feet tall

Funny Christmas quotes sayings

Remember that the important thing is not what you give, or how you wrap it. The important thing, during this very special time of year, is that you save the receipt.

Mail your packages early, so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas.

The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn’t for any religious reasons. They couldn’t find three wise men and a virgin.

Even before Christmas has said Hello, it’s saying ‘Buy Buy’

Santa is very jolly because he knows where all the bad girls live

My husband bought fruitcake one year. He ate some of it, but I wrapped the rest and gave it back to him for Christmas. The next year, I found it amongst my presents from him. It developed from there.

READ:  Christmas Eve Wishes, Messages, Quotes, & Sayings

I left Santa gluten-free cookies and organic soy milk and he put a solar panel in my stocking

Christmas is a baby shower that went totally overboard.

At Christmas, tea is compulsory. Relatives are optional.

Christmas is a time when kids tell Santa what they want and adults pay for it. Deficits are when adults tell the government what they want–and their kids pay for it. – Richard Lamm

I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store, and he asked for my autograph.– Shirley Temple

I love Christmas. I receive a lot of wonderful presents I can’t wait to exchange. – Henny Youngman

What I like about Christmas is that you can make people forget the past with the present. – Don Marquis

I haven’t taken my Christmas lights down. They look so nice on the pumpkin. – Winston Spear

This holiday season, no matter what your religion is, please take a moment to reflect on why it’s better than all the other ones. – Guy Endore Kaiser

The principal advantage of the non-parental lifestyle is that on Christmas Eve you need not be struck dumb by the three most terrifying words that the government allows to be printed on any product: Some assembly required. – John Leo

I hate the radio this time of year because they play “All I Want For Christmas Is You” like, every other song. And that’s just not enough.– Bridger Winegar

Santa Claus wears a Red Suit, he must be a communist. And a beard and long hair must be a pacifist. What’s in that pipe that he’s smoking? – Arlo Guthrie

Do give books – religious or otherwise – for Christmas. They’re never fattening, seldom sinful, and permanently personal. – Lenore Hershey

Nothing’s as mean as giving a little child something useful for Christmas. – Kin Hubbard

Adults can take a simple holiday for Children and screw it up. What began as a presentation of simple gifts to delight and surprise children around the Christmas tree has culminated in a woman unwrapping six shrimp forks from her dog, who drew her name. – Erma Bombeck

Aren’t we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas. You know, the birth of Santa? – Matt Groening

Did you ever notice that life seems to follow certain patterns? Like I noticed that every year around this time, I hear Christmas music. – Tom Sims

Many banks have a new kind of Christmas club in operation. The new club helps you save money to pay for last year’s gifts. – Author Unknown

For Christmas this year, try giving less. Start with less attitude. There’s more than enough of that in the world as it is – and people will usually just give it back anyway! – Anne Bristow

Be careful with drinking this Christmas. I got so drunk last night I found myself dancing in a cheesy bar… or, as you like to call it, delicatessen. – Sean Hughes

Let me see if I’ve got this Santa business straight. You say he wears a beard, has no discernible source of income and flies to cities all over the world under cover of darkness? You sure this guy isn’t laundering illegal drug money? – Tom Armstrong

Who’s the bane of Santa’s life? The elf and safety officer. – Catherine Tate

There’s nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child. –Erma Bombeck

Nothing says holiday like a cheese log. – Ellen DeGeneres

Christmas is the season when you buy this year’s gifts with next year’s money. – Author Unknown